What's Hot and What's Not
0 comment Thursday, April 17, 2014 |
What's hot:Uber-cheap on-campus parking!What's not:Still having to walk roughly a mile in a thunderstorm to get to car.Exactly how not-hot this circumstance is can be calculated by the following equation:Suckitude index = {[(D)^(P)]*(H)*(R)*(U)*(L)}/(S)Wherein,D = Distance from office to on-campus parkingP = rate of precipitation in cm/hH = total hours since thunderstorm beganR = total campus area now underwater or acting as a riverU = likelihood that one has left umbrella in car (this value may be treated as a constant: 200%)L = number of lightening-to-ground strikes in the last hour within a 5 miles radius of present locationS = likelihood that your post-doctoral (that's staff mofo's!) ass has been included on the "staff" email list informing you that all staff have permission to leave at 2pm today an accounta the flash flooding (this value may also be treated as a constant: 0.000001%)