Dissertation = Disease

Input:International Conference departure in t-15 daysCommittee meeting in t-14 daysSelf-imposed manuscript submission deadline in t-30 daysGrAdvisor breathing down neck re: transgenic mouse, manuscript submission, graduation, post-doc positionGraduation requirement: transgenic mouse (takes about 8 months) != GrAdvisor's arbitrary defense date: August 2009 (does not compute!)Post-doc options inversely proportional to my interest in post-doc positionExperimental laundry list several pages longCritical equipment sign-up sheets booked solid for the next 3 weeksOutput:Hello, Heliobacter pylori!Migraines ^10InsomniaNightmares in which I am being chased by specters of my advisor and experimentsNeed for caffeine directly proportional to intensity of shaking in my hands after consumption (why is this suddenly a problem? I used to be able to mainline coffee while conducting microdissections)FatigueAir-headednessGeneral paralysis in face of decisionsIs there a drug for this? (Besides the obvious?)

Labels: Disease, Dissertation